![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Retroactive
Sep. 23rd, 2010 06:52 pmIt's kind of interesting. At first I was a little intimidated by people who said, "If you're trans, you've known it all your life." Which isn't exactly true. I didn't have a box for what I was or wasn't. I mean, I got called "tomboy" a lot because I wasn't girly, but it's not like I thought I was a boy either.
And then I read this, from genderspectrum.org about children who claim to have no gender - or, in my current terminology, who are third gender. They fall outside the gender spectrum - and I just... laughed. A lot.
I don't know that I ever appeared androgynous, but I do know my mother says I used to cry when she would put me in a dress. But what I laughed about most was that they - we - portray ourselves as a non-human, non-immediately-gendered symbol. Because I drew horses. I never drew people. I still draw horses. Horses are such an expression of me. I have one tattooed on my back. Until I was about ten years old, I would insist I was a horse and even behave as one, answering everything in whinnies or neighs or whickers. I remember someone asking me "Why don't you act like a little girl?" and me answering, "Because I'm not one!"
So I guess I have always known. I just didn't know I knew.
And then I read this, from genderspectrum.org about children who claim to have no gender - or, in my current terminology, who are third gender. They fall outside the gender spectrum - and I just... laughed. A lot.
Children who see themselves as “neither” will often speak of how regardless of whether they’re with a group of boys or girls, they feel like they don’t fit. This is not necessarily a sad feeling. They just see the kids around them and know that they are not “that.” Kids in this category often appear androgynous, and will frequently answer the question “are you a boy or a girl” by saying their name (“I’m Devon”) or by identifying themselves as animals. When asked to draw self portraits, they will portray themselves as rainbows, or unicorns, or another symbol of their choosing.
I don't know that I ever appeared androgynous, but I do know my mother says I used to cry when she would put me in a dress. But what I laughed about most was that they - we - portray ourselves as a non-human, non-immediately-gendered symbol. Because I drew horses. I never drew people. I still draw horses. Horses are such an expression of me. I have one tattooed on my back. Until I was about ten years old, I would insist I was a horse and even behave as one, answering everything in whinnies or neighs or whickers. I remember someone asking me "Why don't you act like a little girl?" and me answering, "Because I'm not one!"
So I guess I have always known. I just didn't know I knew.
